A Tour of my Heart

I really shouldn't be here...not by myself. It's not healthy anymore. I need someone. To stay with me all the time. Phury does. But he's not here now...next to me. Holding my hand. That's because he can't be while I'm here. The most he can do at this point is talk to me. I came because I wanted to read something....that's important to me now. It wasn't before. In fact, some one could've burned it and I wouldn't have given so much as a second glance. But now...now I need it. It's one of my ties to reality. *sighs* If you know me...you understand the reason for that. If you don't...you'll have to get along not knowing. I wrote a poem earlier, it's odd. I don't really like it. But it helped me a little. And compelled me to write to the world...like I'm currently doing. Would you like to read it? Like I said, it kind of suck, because I'm not one for poetry. But bear with me please:

A Tour of my Heart

My heart aches to be with you,

I just can't see me without you,

At this point in my life,

I wish only to hear you,

To argue,

To be wanted by you,

My mind swirls in the loss,

Once my love, now my pain,

I don't think it will ever be the same,

Without you near me,

I can only stare blankly,

~I sing this song in the name of my love,

The one I lost to a chaotic soul,

I sing this song as my heart floats above,

I can't help but lose all control,

I will extend this invitation,

To a tour of my heart,

~I can't say goodbye,

Not yet, not now,

Only you can satisfy,

The quick pounding of my heart,

For now, I'll just fall apart,

This must punishment,

For what I've done, what I am,

The ultimate judgment,

By burning my heart,

As only a death can,

I can't take the pain,

Not by myself, not alone,

I can't stand the rain,

With you I found a home,

~I sing this song in the name of my love,

The one I lost to a chaotic soul,

I sing this song as my heart floats above,

I can't help but lose all control,

I will extend this invitation,

To a tour of my heart,

~Two things keep me here,

Two things I hold dear,

For the rest of my life,

They promised to help me through this strife,

One lies within me,

The other is by my side,

One of them you gave me,

The other one stands by,

This impossible heart ache,

Threatens to devour me,

This insatiable need to see you,

Torments me,

I was happy once,

As I hope to be again,

They tell it's what you'd want,

Should I believe them?

~This torrent wind pulls at my mind,

I may lose myself to your death in time,

But as you once said,

"I can't live my life dead"

So I will survive with your voice in my head,

And my heart will remain,

Cold and still in the rain,

Which reminds me of you,

And all that you do,

For to me you still live,

As you once truly did,

And I'll smile for a while,

When I see your face in my dreams,

And live in this world,

Desolate as it may be,

~I sing this song in the name of my love,

The one I lost to a chaotic soul,

I sing this song as my heart floats above,

I can't help but lose all control,

I will extend this invitation,

To a tour of my heart...

~Rioriki Lee Fe Tazuna~

I hope Phury stays with me...I don't know how we would survive without him. Yes, I know I said we...you can figure that out your self. I also hope ~Riukuru~ is happy where he is. *smiles*


R.I.P Riukuru


I send my love to paradise,
Rioriki Lee Fe Tazuna