Љубов. Лојалност. Пријателство.
Translation: Love. Loyalty. Friendship.
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Я люблю ее. Больше всего я люблю ее. Желаем только лучшие для нее. Только счастье ее заставляет мое сердце свет. --- Shiro
Translation: I love her. More than anything do I adore her. Wish nothing but the best for her. Only her happiness makes my heart light.
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Tā gǎibiàn le wǒ shēnghuó de xǔduō fāngmiàn. Wǒ zuìdà de kuàilè shì tā de xiào shēng. Dāng wǒ xiàlái, wǒ kěyǐ yīlài tā. Shénme shì zhùfú wǒ suǒ dédào de. --- Euikinsuke
Translation: She has changed my life in so many ways. My greatest pleasure is her laughter. When I am down, I can depend on her. What a blessing I have been given.
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La luz de mi vida. ¿A quién más puedo mirar a quién me va a sacar de mi oscuridad? Estoy eternamente agradecido por sus sacrificios y las luchas que ella pasa.Te quiero, cariño. -- Leon'
Translation: The light of my life. Who else can I look to who will bring me out of my darkness? I am forever grateful for her sacrifices and the strife she goes through. I love you, darling.
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Ένα δώρο από αυτά υψηλότερα από θεούς.Φτιαγμένο για μένα.Που μου έδωσε δώρο μετά πολύτιμο δώρο. Πάντα σε εγρήγορση και πιστός, αυτή είναι δική μου. Και εγώ πάντα δικό της. -- Max
Translation: A gift from those higher than gods. Made for me. She has given me gift after precious gift. Ever vigilant and faithful, she is mine. And I forever hers.
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Mpenzi wangu. Moyo wangu. Nafsi yangu. Mwanga katika giza. Milele kwa ajili yangu. Milele kwa ajili yenu. -- Tsukaruyen
Translation: Beloved. My Heart. My soul. Forever for me. Forever for you.
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Avec vos conseils, je suis capable d'être un grand homme. Vous me donnez la force dont j'ai besoin. Vous permettez-moi de voir ce que je ne peux pas. Sans vous, je serais sûrement à l'automne. -- Renovarin
Translation: With your advice, I am able to be a great man. You give me the strength I need. You let me see what I can not. Without you, I would surely fall.
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Il mio più grande amore. La mia passione più selvaggia. Mia moglie e madre dei miei figli. Come ha fatto riesco a respirare anche senza di te prima? --- Osumaru
Translation: My greatest love. My wildest passion. My wife and mother of my children. How did I breathe without you before?
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With Love.
Friday, June 04, 2010
Thursday, June 03, 2010
Light Festival
It's always been this way. Tight leather and chains, black and red mingling into blood. Anything else would be confusing. But looking through the photo's of my childhood with my little ones this afternoon brought back a thought. I used to be usual. I haven't always been outlandish and exotic. Haven't always been a slut. I remember now, days so long ago when I was running around in pink, catching butterflies in my father's gardens with Lie watching from the porch and Ki and Shunae at my side. Toddling along, trying to keep up. I remember childhood as a horrific experience. All the way through being a teenager until just a few years ago did I loathe my existence with the greatest passion. But I've been changed. i still have my style that can't be taken from me. That which sets me apart from every other Chinese girl. Every other dragon shaalma. Every other wife and mother. I'm still me. Despite what happens, has happened, will happen.
Can it change I wonder? Can the world change to accommodate my little daughter, who looks up to me as if I am the Moon? Will it hold true for my baby boy who wishes to be his father as a star wishes to be the Sun? Or will the world turn it's back on them as it has done to me? So many times I have wondered and prayed to my god that the world will have mercy on their tender hearts. Give light labor to their little hands and place only smooth paths in front of their soft feet. But today, as I helped them get ready to go to their first Light Festival, I realized, as every mother must, that I can only pray. I can only hold onto my dreams and fears as they battle through the world as I did. I will only be able to guide them and wipe away tears of bitter sorrow as the experience life for what it is.
As I type this, I wonder still if this is how my mother felt when she watched me dress for my own festival. If my father looks down on me in shame still for taking paths improper for a shaalma of my standing. Perhaps...perhaps they learned as I have learned that they cannot control what is no longer theirs. As you give birth, you give freedom and free will. Though you can guide and advise all you want. The choice is left to them.
My only hope now, as I pray for their safety on this night, is that I am able to continue to give them what I hope will aid them in the future.
愛,
小李，陈建宇*
*Xiao
Can it change I wonder? Can the world change to accommodate my little daughter, who looks up to me as if I am the Moon? Will it hold true for my baby boy who wishes to be his father as a star wishes to be the Sun? Or will the world turn it's back on them as it has done to me? So many times I have wondered and prayed to my god that the world will have mercy on their tender hearts. Give light labor to their little hands and place only smooth paths in front of their soft feet. But today, as I helped them get ready to go to their first Light Festival, I realized, as every mother must, that I can only pray. I can only hold onto my dreams and fears as they battle through the world as I did. I will only be able to guide them and wipe away tears of bitter sorrow as the experience life for what it is.
As I type this, I wonder still if this is how my mother felt when she watched me dress for my own festival. If my father looks down on me in shame still for taking paths improper for a shaalma of my standing. Perhaps...perhaps they learned as I have learned that they cannot control what is no longer theirs. As you give birth, you give freedom and free will. Though you can guide and advise all you want. The choice is left to them.
My only hope now, as I pray for their safety on this night, is that I am able to continue to give them what I hope will aid them in the future.
愛,
小李，陈建宇*
*Xiao
Friday, May 28, 2010
Visiting Hope
On October 18, 2006 I wrote about how my life began falling apart. Before I took my life. You may want to recap before you read this. Its been a while. But nothing's changed. Four years only makes a difference if something changes your life. I have yet to come across that...something. This time I'll tell you about after I was reborn. When Angel cast me out.
I blinked slowly when the suns rays shone on my eyelids. Wiping a hand over my face I looked around hoping I would be in some fancy hotel in a warm place. To my dismay there was none of that. The airs chill swept through my skin quickly and forced me into wakefulness. I stood and found that I was outside, naked, in the middle of some forest in some place I didn't know. So I began walking. All sorts of thoughts formed in my head. Who was I? What happened? How do I get out of here. It was sometime later that I discovered I was just outside of Greece and my name was Loraina. Then it all came back and I couldn't help the groan that escaped my lips. Eventually I did find a hotel, there I bathed and stole some mans clothes.
I wandered around Greece for six days before I saw someone I recognized. If you had been there, you may have felt my heart pounding through the floor. My mouth opened to shout to him, but I snapped it shut before it could betray me. Angel's handsome face turned my way anyways and I felt his blank stare etch its way into my skin. What he did next, I didn't expect...he smiled at me. I blinked in confusion as he dropped his fruit and jogged over to me. "I must know you." His voice had dropped at least ten notes since the last time I saw him, though it had been only two years. I longed to deny it and give him a false name with which he could create his own person. But I had already taken too much from him. "Loraina..." I mumbled daring to look up him. "Ah yes! I remember. Why are you wearing mens clothing?" He seemed genuinelly perplexed and I tilted my head. "Never mind it. Come come!" He grabbed my hand, too gently and pulled me towards his previous location. "Oh..I shouldn't go with you.." I panicked, my eyes widening. "Its no problem." He turned and looked me in the eyes, "Truly." Now as confused as he must have been I slowly nodded my head, and allowed him to guide me. He couldn't have forgotten his brother's death. Though he must have, because he welcomed me into his home.
Over the next few weeks I became acquainted with the people that had become his family and met his little sister. She was a darling thing. Her name was Pamondria , though she couldn't say it as she was just a baby. Angel and I became close again and it wasn't long after our meeting in the market that my heart expanded to include him in its repetoire. It took even less time for him to recall how exactly his brother had died. I fell in love with Angel the same way I had with Micheal and he loved me much the same. It was the anniversary of his brother's death and he wanted me to come to his grave site with him. I refused, I simply couldn't do it. I remembered when I'd murdered him clear as day, whether Angel did or not. He insisted however and I ended up attending the rememberance anyways. I brought with me a single black rose and placed it gently on his headstone. This was the marker that sparked Angel's memory. I saw it flash in his eyes, the vision of me standing over his siblings corpse with nothing but loathing written on my face. "...You.." He whispered from behind me. His kind baritone had become nothing but acid and I couldn't control the flinch that played at my muscles. "You did this..." I heard the acid tremble and took my opportunity, turning to face him. "It was an accident..it was long ago and I've paid my price..please...Angel...forgive me." His face became flustered and rage overtook the remorse that had been there before. "It was not long ago!" He yelled, his voice shaking the earth. "It was years ago! Not decades!" His anger made me weep, I could not control the tears as they fell down my cheeks. "I did nothing but love him.." I cried, wrapping my arms around myself and sinking to the ground. "...To the last second I loved him...I just thought.." "You did not think!" He yelled louder. My hand went to the headstone and I hugged it desperately, willing Micheal to return, knowing there was nothing I could do to beseech this fury. I heard him growl above me and didn't raise a lash until rough hands gripped my arms. "YOU KILLED HIM!" He hollered in my face, lifting me away from the headstone. I reached for it as he pulled me away, "You shouldn't be here!" He dropped me infront of him, so that he blocked Micheal from my reach. "You shouldn't..." His eyes seemed to have glazed over and his yell faded to that of a whisper. "Pleeease Angel.." I bawled, crawling towards him, "I love you..." He backed away. "You love nothing." He spoke firmly, not willing to lower his eyes and look at me, he stared towards the skyline instead. "Your not welcome in my home. I never want to see you again." It was the last thing he said before he turned and walked away. On the ground, where his foot had been lay a crushed black rose. Beyond that Micheal's headstone read, "Micheal Demonte' Narun-Ray, Beloved Brother and Son."
--Three months later I was wandering Greece again, watching Angel from afar, in hopes that I could somehow speak with him again. Though I never worked up the nerves to try. I visited Micheals grave every Thursday. Still do, and whenever I go back...my roses have disappeared.
I know its been a long time, I told you I'd tell you over time, though I couldn't have anticipated it would be this long. *shrugs* Im sorry.
Reaction is everything,
Loraina Kiarwa
I blinked slowly when the suns rays shone on my eyelids. Wiping a hand over my face I looked around hoping I would be in some fancy hotel in a warm place. To my dismay there was none of that. The airs chill swept through my skin quickly and forced me into wakefulness. I stood and found that I was outside, naked, in the middle of some forest in some place I didn't know. So I began walking. All sorts of thoughts formed in my head. Who was I? What happened? How do I get out of here. It was sometime later that I discovered I was just outside of Greece and my name was Loraina. Then it all came back and I couldn't help the groan that escaped my lips. Eventually I did find a hotel, there I bathed and stole some mans clothes.
I wandered around Greece for six days before I saw someone I recognized. If you had been there, you may have felt my heart pounding through the floor. My mouth opened to shout to him, but I snapped it shut before it could betray me. Angel's handsome face turned my way anyways and I felt his blank stare etch its way into my skin. What he did next, I didn't expect...he smiled at me. I blinked in confusion as he dropped his fruit and jogged over to me. "I must know you." His voice had dropped at least ten notes since the last time I saw him, though it had been only two years. I longed to deny it and give him a false name with which he could create his own person. But I had already taken too much from him. "Loraina..." I mumbled daring to look up him. "Ah yes! I remember. Why are you wearing mens clothing?" He seemed genuinelly perplexed and I tilted my head. "Never mind it. Come come!" He grabbed my hand, too gently and pulled me towards his previous location. "Oh..I shouldn't go with you.." I panicked, my eyes widening. "Its no problem." He turned and looked me in the eyes, "Truly." Now as confused as he must have been I slowly nodded my head, and allowed him to guide me. He couldn't have forgotten his brother's death. Though he must have, because he welcomed me into his home.
Over the next few weeks I became acquainted with the people that had become his family and met his little sister. She was a darling thing. Her name was Pamondria , though she couldn't say it as she was just a baby. Angel and I became close again and it wasn't long after our meeting in the market that my heart expanded to include him in its repetoire. It took even less time for him to recall how exactly his brother had died. I fell in love with Angel the same way I had with Micheal and he loved me much the same. It was the anniversary of his brother's death and he wanted me to come to his grave site with him. I refused, I simply couldn't do it. I remembered when I'd murdered him clear as day, whether Angel did or not. He insisted however and I ended up attending the rememberance anyways. I brought with me a single black rose and placed it gently on his headstone. This was the marker that sparked Angel's memory. I saw it flash in his eyes, the vision of me standing over his siblings corpse with nothing but loathing written on my face. "...You.." He whispered from behind me. His kind baritone had become nothing but acid and I couldn't control the flinch that played at my muscles. "You did this..." I heard the acid tremble and took my opportunity, turning to face him. "It was an accident..it was long ago and I've paid my price..please...Angel...forgive me." His face became flustered and rage overtook the remorse that had been there before. "It was not long ago!" He yelled, his voice shaking the earth. "It was years ago! Not decades!" His anger made me weep, I could not control the tears as they fell down my cheeks. "I did nothing but love him.." I cried, wrapping my arms around myself and sinking to the ground. "...To the last second I loved him...I just thought.." "You did not think!" He yelled louder. My hand went to the headstone and I hugged it desperately, willing Micheal to return, knowing there was nothing I could do to beseech this fury. I heard him growl above me and didn't raise a lash until rough hands gripped my arms. "YOU KILLED HIM!" He hollered in my face, lifting me away from the headstone. I reached for it as he pulled me away, "You shouldn't be here!" He dropped me infront of him, so that he blocked Micheal from my reach. "You shouldn't..." His eyes seemed to have glazed over and his yell faded to that of a whisper. "Pleeease Angel.." I bawled, crawling towards him, "I love you..." He backed away. "You love nothing." He spoke firmly, not willing to lower his eyes and look at me, he stared towards the skyline instead. "Your not welcome in my home. I never want to see you again." It was the last thing he said before he turned and walked away. On the ground, where his foot had been lay a crushed black rose. Beyond that Micheal's headstone read, "Micheal Demonte' Narun-Ray, Beloved Brother and Son."
--Three months later I was wandering Greece again, watching Angel from afar, in hopes that I could somehow speak with him again. Though I never worked up the nerves to try. I visited Micheals grave every Thursday. Still do, and whenever I go back...my roses have disappeared.
I know its been a long time, I told you I'd tell you over time, though I couldn't have anticipated it would be this long. *shrugs* Im sorry.
Reaction is everything,
Loraina Kiarwa
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Withstanding
Endless, heartless
Circumstance
Which way to call my certain path?
No man can say which way is meant to be…
Falling faster. I’ll never stop.
Giving your heart just ain’t enough
Perhaps this is how its meant to be…
With little faith in fate these days it’s a wonder how I stay awake.
The dream world of a child is much sweeter.
My life is just a passionate blur.
A passionate blur in which I’ve been thrown.
Take what little life I have left and give it to someone whos left
I’m grieving cause you’re already gone.
I cannot stay in this hellish place.
You’ve come to far to quit the race.
It’s a never ending uphill fight. I’m tired of this. Make it stop.
You’ve got the knife, just pull it a little closer.
The metal stings. My blood is warm. My vision swims. It won’t be long.
I’ve forgotten how hard this is to see…
Oh don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine…
Yeah, we’ll see.
Just as soon as I cross over this river.
I missed the key to stopping this, its over now. I’m callin quits.
The blade’s still warm in my hand…
But I just can’t..
I’m a Survivor.
Ry & Thetera
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Harmless Vowls
I am more than you think I am. Though I am ignored, though I am betrayed and neglected, I AM
more than you know. I was better than all this from the start, but I've always been the carpet beneath your feet. You say it's harmless, so go fuck yourselves, and thank you for leaving me behind. I waited for days. I waited next to the rotting corpses of family and friends, stood right by my mothers faded heart in the cold...and no one came. You didn't even look. I'd expect it from them...but you said you loved me. How can you presume to know what love is when you don't know how to show kindness.
"Don't talk to her, she's a runt."
"She doesn't eat. Leave her be."
"Sure, fuck her. I don't know why you'd want to though."
"Just tie her up."
When we were playing pretend you set my soul on fire. And it burned with a flame so profound I knew it couldn't be anything but real. Then she came strutting by flicking her tail and what was I to you? A doormat.
All of you. I had no counsel, I had no friend, no wisdom. He's ignored me ever since, maybe he figured out I wasn't going to grow anymore. 5'1 is too short for a lycan. 100lbs too light. Yeah...my skin is tan and my eyes are wintry blue/almost white. But Im the same on the inside as the rest of you. You couldn't have set your suspicions aside and helped?
I am nothing now...not that I was anything to you before. They found me, they cut my hair and they left me there with my dead mother and father. Who could I have been...anyone without you. If I had had a choice...I would have come out 6'6, lean with long black hair and green eyes...but I didn't...I cant now, its too late.
I wish you well,
Jasielle
P.S There's so much more to me than you could ever imagine...
more than you know. I was better than all this from the start, but I've always been the carpet beneath your feet. You say it's harmless, so go fuck yourselves, and thank you for leaving me behind. I waited for days. I waited next to the rotting corpses of family and friends, stood right by my mothers faded heart in the cold...and no one came. You didn't even look. I'd expect it from them...but you said you loved me. How can you presume to know what love is when you don't know how to show kindness.
"Don't talk to her, she's a runt."
"She doesn't eat. Leave her be."
"Sure, fuck her. I don't know why you'd want to though."
"Just tie her up."
When we were playing pretend you set my soul on fire. And it burned with a flame so profound I knew it couldn't be anything but real. Then she came strutting by flicking her tail and what was I to you? A doormat.
All of you. I had no counsel, I had no friend, no wisdom. He's ignored me ever since, maybe he figured out I wasn't going to grow anymore. 5'1 is too short for a lycan. 100lbs too light. Yeah...my skin is tan and my eyes are wintry blue/almost white. But Im the same on the inside as the rest of you. You couldn't have set your suspicions aside and helped?
I am nothing now...not that I was anything to you before. They found me, they cut my hair and they left me there with my dead mother and father. Who could I have been...anyone without you. If I had had a choice...I would have come out 6'6, lean with long black hair and green eyes...but I didn't...I cant now, its too late.
I wish you well,
Jasielle
P.S There's so much more to me than you could ever imagine...
Monday, March 01, 2010
Secret Mission
Hey you!
Yes. You.
Interested consumer.
I have a very special deal for you, that I can't give to everyone.
50-70% off all pets for a limited time.
My brother is getting married and doesn't have time for all of them anymore.
So if you want one...
Now is the time.
As always, there is a large range of breeds and ages. But it's first come with the best price wins.
Some prices are negotiable, but some are hard limits.
Most are set at the minimum limit. But haggling is always fun!
Our most valued breeds right now are yours for the taking such as:
Hybrids:
fox/dragon
hell hound/fallen angel
dragon/phoenix
vampire/raven
siren/werewolf
water demon/angel
doggen/shadow
vampire/werewolf
Pure bloods:
blood angel
black wolf
fire sprite
gray wolf
lycanthrope
fox
Our stocks are limited, but we will do special orders for a fee.
Questions about our pets can be directed to Johnathan, or JR.
Hope to see you soon,
Little Shop Staff
Yes. You.
Interested consumer.
I have a very special deal for you, that I can't give to everyone.
50-70% off all pets for a limited time.
My brother is getting married and doesn't have time for all of them anymore.
So if you want one...
Now is the time.
As always, there is a large range of breeds and ages. But it's first come with the best price wins.
Some prices are negotiable, but some are hard limits.
Most are set at the minimum limit. But haggling is always fun!
Our most valued breeds right now are yours for the taking such as:
Hybrids:
fox/dragon
hell hound/fallen angel
dragon/phoenix
vampire/raven
siren/werewolf
water demon/angel
doggen/shadow
vampire/werewolf
Pure bloods:
blood angel
black wolf
fire sprite
gray wolf
lycanthrope
fox
Our stocks are limited, but we will do special orders for a fee.
Questions about our pets can be directed to Johnathan, or JR.
Hope to see you soon,
Little Shop Staff
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Ha. Ha.
You're a bitch.
I just want you to know that.
From the bottom of my broken heart, I really believe that.
You are a spineless, pathetic, Worthless, and dishonorable excuse for a Male.
And I sincerely hope that any woman you ever try to date after this is very aware of the fact.
I know, this is low and immature...
but I want EVERYONE to know it.
So its on the Internet. :)
Anyway, like I said.
Bitch.
Oh, and you can have your ring back.
I OBVIOUSLY don't need it anymore.
I'm still going to the dance, too!
So Ha!
Honestly though. You really should move out of town, because once my mom and dad(s) read this...you're screwed. Seriously, even my baby sister will be after you. And she has a lot of little henchmen (heehee I love you two.) My point is though, should any bodily harm come to you from my doing this, I'm not sorry. I don't want you dead....but if they rip off an arm or something....maybe your treacherous tongue...I'm game. I wouldn't give it a second thought. Oh! And another thing! She left a letter in my locker telling me how sorry she was about all this and blah blah blah. How she was only dating you on the DL on a dare and that she really wanted to stay friends and whatever. No. Fuck you too, Kendhal. You're a dirty slut just like he is. I can't believe I trusted you alone with him. FOR TEN MINUTES! Ugh. Anyway, just...keep her away from me. I don't want to get suspended for beating her ass. If she steps to me, I'll do it. And you both know I will. *smiles* Have a great rest of the week everyone!
With Love,
Mochidzuki Lynn Toshibaya Tazuna Fe
P.S: Oh! I almost forgot. Thought you were off the hook, didn't ya, Vin?
Attention! Lovely ladies of the standard! Please do stay away from Vincent Dimitrius "Prophet" DeMura. He really isn't worth your time. Thank you.
I just want you to know that.
From the bottom of my broken heart, I really believe that.
You are a spineless, pathetic, Worthless, and dishonorable excuse for a Male.
And I sincerely hope that any woman you ever try to date after this is very aware of the fact.
I know, this is low and immature...
but I want EVERYONE to know it.
So its on the Internet. :)
Anyway, like I said.
Bitch.
Oh, and you can have your ring back.
I OBVIOUSLY don't need it anymore.
I'm still going to the dance, too!
So Ha!
Honestly though. You really should move out of town, because once my mom and dad(s) read this...you're screwed. Seriously, even my baby sister will be after you. And she has a lot of little henchmen (heehee I love you two.) My point is though, should any bodily harm come to you from my doing this, I'm not sorry. I don't want you dead....but if they rip off an arm or something....maybe your treacherous tongue...I'm game. I wouldn't give it a second thought. Oh! And another thing! She left a letter in my locker telling me how sorry she was about all this and blah blah blah. How she was only dating you on the DL on a dare and that she really wanted to stay friends and whatever. No. Fuck you too, Kendhal. You're a dirty slut just like he is. I can't believe I trusted you alone with him. FOR TEN MINUTES! Ugh. Anyway, just...keep her away from me. I don't want to get suspended for beating her ass. If she steps to me, I'll do it. And you both know I will. *smiles* Have a great rest of the week everyone!
With Love,
Mochidzuki Lynn Toshibaya Tazuna Fe
P.S: Oh! I almost forgot. Thought you were off the hook, didn't ya, Vin?
Attention! Lovely ladies of the standard! Please do stay away from Vincent Dimitrius "Prophet" DeMura. He really isn't worth your time. Thank you.
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