Dead Love

I know I said I'd tell you about my life piece by piece but I think these are the most important things I can say about it:

~I lost someone...a long time ago. Other then my mother. It was after that. I told you about Angel right? WEll we were friends, back then he had an older brother. I would talk to Angel all the time...he was my comfort, my support. After my life plummeted to hell. I would go to his house everyday, all day whenever I can. At first it was to seek solace. But after a while, I fell for his older brother Michael, who would comfort me when Angel was gone. We were close after a year of constant contact. Almost a classic love story right? He loved me and I loved him. But I had abandoned Angel. Though we remained friends. One day, Michael was taking me to see my parents, at their graves. He said something that caused more sadness and wasn't intended. We got into an argument over something petty and the next day I wouldn't talk to him. So I sought Angel's comfort. He talked me into speaking with his brother again. So I went to find him, when I did find him he was in his room muttering. Most likely sending up prayer, and saying how sorry he was for upsetting me. I was about to say something when he said he could never forgive himself for murdering my family. I took him literally, thinking he really killed my father, and perhaps even my mother. Although I knew she'd taken her own life. So, being in the emotional state that I was in I freaked out. I asked him how he could do such a thing. We got into another fight...I hit him multiple times causing a bloody lip. He refused to fight back, and I didn't stop. In the end...I killed him, and he hadn't touched me once. I stared down at him...loathing written on my face mixed with other emotions. Angel chose then to walk into the room. He saw his brother dead on the floor, took one look at me and broke down. I ran...going to the darkest place I knew. It was two days later that I discovered what Michael had meant. He had been with my father when he was killed. Michael felt responsible for the murder, and thus the death of my mother. He'd felt bad because he couldn't do anything to prevent it. I killed Michael for caring. Horror swept over me quickly and I detached myself from the world for the next four days. I went to Michaels funeral the fifth day and placed a black rose on his casket. The next day I took my life.~

--Two years later I was reborn. In a week I reunited with Angel. He was with a new family and had a little sister. After a short while I fell for him like I had his brother. Though soon he remembered the pain I had caused him, how it was my fault that his family broke apart. He blamed me for everything and cast me away--

Now, I no longer see him. He won't look at me. Don't ask about times and how long ago this all is...I couldn't tell you.

The feelings after death surrender to nothing,
Loraina Kiarwa