In exactly one single second, you can take a breath.
In exactly five seconds, you can smile.
In exactly one minute, you can make a decision.
In exactly five minutes, you can make someones day.
In exactly one hour, it can miss something.
In exactly five hours, you can be alone.
What have you done with your time?
Today I spent my time being stupid. Being the ditsy little weirdo I am trademarked for being. And when I came back from being Stupid. They were gone. Maybe it would have been better if they were gone. But they were...and they weren't. Well, they are. I haven't moved them. I laid next to them, and pretended I was with them. Then I remembered how they ended up like this, and stopped. Then I just laid there. Did nothing. Hardly breathed. And knew. This is unmistakeably my fault. Even if it wasn't my hand. I wasn't there. I know they wouldn't be gone if I had been there to protect them, or at least go too. It might have been an accident. My sisters...My mom...not me. I'm sure he's still out there somewhere. Doing whatever. He's always wanted to. When he started doing that stuff, that mom said was bad for him. He said to me one day that he realized what sin he has created, what evil demons he had helped seed. His eyes were huge, amazingly so. I thought if I got close enough I would fall in and get lost. But I never did. Mom did though, over and over. She told me all the time. Mom can't now though. And I'll never hear her voice again. I'll never hear Jezy yell at me again for being hyper. Never hear Rama tell me to do something about my dolls in her room. Tay can't tell me to shut up because she's doing her homework ever again...and I'm going to miss that. I love them. I will always love them. And I'll Never get to tell them that I do.
My name is a Lie,
Angel
2 comments:
Hello. This post is likeable, and your blog is very interesting, congratulations :-). I will add in my blogroll =). If possible gives a last there on my blog, it is about the Celular, I hope you enjoy. The address is http://telefone-celular-brasil.blogspot.com. A hug.
Angel,
I have told you many times before that it is not your fault. Had you been nothing would have changed except that I would have to live with your death as well as theirs. I believe you are an angel, no matter what anyone else says. I won't tell you that it will be alright, because I can't assure that. But I will always be near, and I can assure that your mother and sisters are happy and watching over you, they don't blame you and you will no longer blame yourself. I promise you will live and you will be okay. I won't let your life go unchanged however and I hope you can accept that. Just remember that I will love you when there is no one else to do so. Just as I will be there when there is no one around. You can trust me.
~Bafa~
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