My Lost Romance

My Lost Romance©
I find with the heat of time,
That all I wish for,
Cannot be found
And with this breath
On which I speak,
The doom of Romance,
Is at it's peak

The broken chain of My Lost Romance,
Is spiraling toward me,
Its sharp pointed edge,
And metal links,
Will break me, will carve me,
To shape a hole, a void so black,
[So deep, so deep I can't come back]
The rips and tears will sound aloud,
[My broken heart will cease to pound]
The end of me is near,
I feel it in the air,
Pain is ringing through my ears,
Along with My Lost Romance

[I'm lost I'm lost,
My love is lost,
It's broken and wilting,
Dying and withering,
Never to love me,
I've lost I've lost]

I've loved him forever,
Always with all of my heart,
He's a broken figure,
In the mirror their eyes,
To me he's a sculpture,
A masterpiece of lies,
One thing that held me,
To this world of ours,
[Hold me, hold me keep here]
But he won't love me,
[Love me, I love you, love me dear]
Now it's gone, the flame I saw,
Lost as a shadow far before dawn,
Lost and broken,
Much like me,
Departed and drifting,
Headed for the sea,
That was my one chance,
Now its gone forever more,
Gone with the wind,
My Lost Romance...

[I'm dying I'm dying,
My love is dying,
Its shattered and ruined,
Tattered and stained,
Never to accept me,
Nothing remains]

I find with the heat of time,
That all I wish for,
Cannot be found
And with this breath
On which I speak,
The doom of Romance,
Is at it's peak

My Lost Romance,
My Lost Romance,
Ending far from my last chance,
Carving hole after hole,
Into my chest,
Ripping me apart,
Not destroying the rest,
It beats, It beats,
This heart of mine,
Though ruined and crippled,
A shriveled shrine,
To all that I've loved,
And the love I have for you,
It's dying Its dying,
But it still beats true.

I'll cry all my life,
For this loss I face,
But I cannot hate you,
[I will not hate you]
You've left a print,
A tread in my blood,
Though this love is lost,
[Though it never was]
I will love you,
I still do,
My Lost Romance...

[I'm not okay, I'm not okay,
My love is not okay,
Its hurting and pained,
Moaning and crying,
Never to stop these tears,
Never loved me all these years]

I find with the heat of time,
That all I wish for,
Cannot be found
And with this breath
On which I speak,
The doom of Romance,
Is at it's peak

I'm caving, I cannot stand,
Through this torture you demand,
[I shall not love you]
It's like a whipping on my back,
Through my clothes and to my flesh,
[Tears of blood drip from my eyes]
Ripping through my skin,
Cutting through muscle,
Spattering blood,
I strain to stand against it,
The flood of pain that clutches my heart,
To grip and squeeze and rip me apart,
I can stand no longer,
My knees shall hit the floor,
And shatter with the last piece you left,
Of my heart,
I've misstepped in this dance,
It's lost, I'm lost,
My Lost Romance...

That says it all...and I place blame on no one...

xxxLaMerieexxx

Hurry Hurry

Okay so I don't have very long to write this...oh yeah!

--- Hatarunei

Okay so I'll write this now 'cause it's close to my showing and once Papa finds out it won't matter anymore. I'm prepared for this to be my last show. See I volunteered for the 'dark' clothing this time, 'cause I thought I could make it look good, right? What I didn't know was that I would have to dye my hair. But I was going to take it back and do my normal line instead but they would have given the line to Reva and I just can't have that. So I let them dye it. Now instead of it's normal dark blue with black streaks...it's all black. Solid black there's no color. I don't think Papa will even recognize me. And if he does I hope he waits till the end to freak out. I haven't been home since yesterday when they did it, and I'm not leaving until call time (about 7:00). So now that I've explained all this and I don't have to worry about it anymore I don't have to hide as carefully. I can talk to my brothers now, I know they won't tell Mama and Papa. And my sister should be okay with it too (she's dyed her hair before) Besides it isn't like I'll have it this way for very long. I can wash the dye out. It's just for the show. I look pretty much the same, my eyes are the same color (bright green like Papa's) and I won't have to wear contacts again like the other girls 'cause they match this time, finally. I think my Aunt will be happy I'm trying out her style. I kind of like it. If it's okay with Papa I want at least 2 black outfits. That's all, just 2. Think he'll be okay with that? ^_^ I've noticed all most all my posts are about Papa. But that's probably cause I love him so much! *smiles* I'm gonna go now and practice 'waltzing' (it's what they call walking with style) Bye bye!

It's Fun To Do The Things You Like,
Nei-Nei

^_^

Heeheehee, this is only my second post?
I think it should have been more.
Of course..........................................
Things have happened to prevent this.
Oh but the whole entire meaning of this post is...

CONGRATULATIONS DEVONTE' AND DESTINY!!!!
^_^

I was going to wait for some else to do it...but I couldn't. It was just too exciting!! Their getting married, but I don't know when. So now that that's done. Akeno-kun is going to move!!! :( I'm very, very sad. My bestest friend in the whole wide world is leaving! Do you know where he is going? Me either. But his parents said they have to move 'cause Akeno-kun's dad's army people are moving to somewhere so he has to too. I want them to stay...but they can not. *sighs* this is very devastating....my Dad is trying to convince them not to leave, 'cause Akeno-kun's dad is one of his only friends. (Dad doesn't have a lot of them that I see) and Mom will lose her cooking partner, Akeno-kun's mama, they talk all the time and Akeno-kun comes over when she comes over. But they said they will try not to move too far. I hope this is so. I will be more sad if they move very very far away, then I won't see Akeno-kun and his little sister anymore.*sighs* On another note, my big brother (whom I recently found out isn't even really related to me, which is kind of sad) moved in with his girlfriend and that was last week. I haven't seen him since! I will have to tell his girlfriend she can't have him all to her self. I want him back. He was my brother first. And that gets to sound selfish 'cause I don't do that very often. (only when it comes to my brothers and sisters!) I bet you all know who's posting this now. Bet you didn't before, when I wasn't talking about the people I talk about all the time. How can I not talk about them though? I dunno. I have to go help my mom now so byebyes!

Keepin' Up With The Rest Of The World,

D.C. Nishi

Sanctuary of Decadence

First, since most of you probably don't know what this word means.
Decadence-the act or process of falling into an inferior condition or state; deterioration; decay:
~This blog is about the deterioration of someones soul. After learning of an act of betrayal on their lovers part. We'll call the person falling apart, Seera, and the betrayer can be Raphael. Seera lives a happy life, thinking eventually she will marry Raphael as she is madly in love with him. One day, she comes home, to the house her and Raphael purchased two years before. As she walks into her house, she hears voices.Not just one voice, as she would have expected, Seera hears two voices. One belonging to her beloved Raphael. The other is a female voice. She thinks nothing of it and sets her things on a table in the living area. Thinking it's probably a family member she stays away from the room in which the voices are coming from. You know...family matters, not really her business. She walks past the room, about five minutes later, the wedding band encircling her finger gleaming under the bright lamp light of the hallway. She stops when she hears her name, and listens through the door. Here is what she hears:
"Raphael...don't you think-"
"No...you don't understand, I can't lose you."
"But perhaps...we should tell her...I kind of feel bad, doing all this behind her back"
"As do I..but it can't be helped. She'll get over it."
The female giggles, "Your horrible. But I suppose your right."
"I do wonder if perhaps she's daft."
"Well of course she is love!"
Both of them laugh, and it echoes through the door.
"No doubt she'll tell her brother. He'll flip."
"I'll fix that...don't worry about it."
"No...it's dangerous to bother him. I'll deal with it. You can handle her."
"Alright then."

Seera can't believe what she hears, shock runs over her face and leaves it's mark in her eyes as she pushes open the door. She looks at the face of her fiance' Raphael, and then to the mocking eyes of her best friend. She covers her face with her hands and bites her tongue. Denial finds her voice as she screams a sad no and runs out of the house, tears blurring her vision. Raphael gives chase, leaving his new love smiling with anticipation. As he catches up to Seera he grabs her arm whirling her to face him.
She screams at him, "Let me you go you lying bastard!!!"
He frowns and grips both her arms in his hands, "Somehow...I knew you would act like this. I thought you understood!!!"
"Understood? What the fuck am I supposed to be understanding!!??!"
"It wasn't clear? You are daft...I thought I made it perfectly clear that I don't love you..."
Her lips tremble, "Y-y-you what...?"
"Seera...I don't want to be with you,"
"How can you say that!?!?! You sick son of a bitch!?! How can you say that?!!"
"Because...it's true."
"You asshole!! How could you do this to me?!" She screams horrified, and sinks to the ground. She felt sick...foolish. But where were the clues. What hints had he given her, when he'd proposed three days before? Raphael kneels next to her. And takes her left hand in his.
"I'm sorry Seera." He kisses her hand, and gently slides the gleaming diamond off her finger.
"No!!! Give it back you bastard!! Give it back!!! You can't take it from me!! Give...it..baack" She balls swinging blindly in the air. He frowns down at her and turns to leave while she clutches her sides and rocks to keep her self from falling apart.

Over a course of the next few days, Seera cries her self to sleep. Having frequent nightmares and holding her sides so she doesn't rip apart. It is announced that Raphael is to be married. The tear through her body grows as she sits in her small sanctuary of decadence and struggles to hold her self together. Four days after Raphael's wedding, her older brother dies, and her ex-best friend comes to visit her.
"Seera...I had hoped to see you at the wedding."
"Get the hell away from me you backstabbing little bitch..." Seera answers dully, no emotion raising her voice.
"Why can't you be happy for us?!!?"
"Why..can't I..." Seera repeats mechanically and looks up at her ex-friend sadly. "I hate you..."
Her "friend" looks at her numbly, then glares. "Fine" She states, then lands a swift kick in Seera's side, "I hope you rot like your brother." Then she walks out.

For the next few month's Seera remains broken, only slightly holding herself together. To this day she still tries to keep from ripping in two. And in the times she is not contemplating revenge. She resides in her Sanctuary of Decadence, trying to replace the shards of her heart that flew around the earths core to melt with the love she had for Raphael.

I sincerely hope you are never hurt in anyway shape or form...

Trying to rebuild myself,
Seera Rein

Meeting

Shifironodenmaru---


You probably already know what I'm doing here. I don't post unless told to, and Suya wants me to do it again, so I will. Though this time...I'm not quite sure what to write about. Last time I wrote about one of my first and only memories with my family. I could write about recent events, but that's not what she wants. Writing about being...what I was...would be hard. But that's what she wants me to write about I think. She didn't really give me anything to work with, no hints or anything. *sighs* I guess, writing about the past is necessary in order to get over it...not that what happened to me is something you get over at all. Though she seems to be doing alright...ahem. Anyway, here goes nothing...

"What's the matter, pet?"
"..."
"Speak truth. What is wrong?"
"Nothing, ma'am."
"Fine."

The mistress walked out of the cell, encasing me in the darkness that was the windowless, lightless 'room' I was confined to. I crawled over to the corner and pulled my knees to my chest, wrapping my arms around them. Absently I looked over the pile of blankets on the floor for my bed and the small silver bucket for my bathroom. I heard a sliding noise and looked over at the door, as a tray flew through the slit at the bottom. The tray of mush hit against the wall and flew everywhere, splattering me, and the wall with it's disgusting contents. Wiping off my face with the back of my hand I thought why they were feeding me now. Perhaps so I could feed them later.

"Shifiro?"

I smiled when I heard my name flow from the lips of the girl standing in the doorway. I looked up at her from where I sat taking her in.

"Suya. You were allowed here?"
"No. Master does not know, I had to give the guards...something."
"You have sacrificed more than needed."
"Not enough."

She came and sat next to me, and I felt bad for having her sit on the floor. She deserved so much better. She should have a nice soft chair to sit in, of even a couch. Something. She smiled at me, not daring to touch me however. I understood why, and kept my distance from her just the same. Should we touch, our scents would mix more, and her coming here would be evident to her Master. I did not enjoy the thought of her punishment.

"I'm glad you came."
"Me too."
"Have you eaten?"
"Have you?"
"No, but I'm not as important."
"Shifiro."
"Tis true."

She shook her head and looked around, frowning. I knew her room was much better conditions than mine. But she was also used for so much more than I was. I noticed then that her hair had been cut. I inquired softly on why that was. She held in a breath for a second and looked at me, her eyes suddenly glimmering with tears, and I regret asking. Before I could take back my question she spoke, ever so softly. Her voice filled with a haunting sorrow.

"Master said it got in his way...He ordered it cut..."

As she continued to explain, a great anger rose in me. An anger that I had never felt before, soon I was shaking with rage, and I felt my eyes flash a new color. She watched me, concerned, then smiled as she caught hold of my scent. One of a male needing revenge, needing to redeem those he loves. She took my hand then, and whispered softly. Calming me.

"It will grow back."
"That may be. But it doesn't put aside the fact tha-"
"Quiet. Do you hear that?"

I focused on her and listened closely to the hall outside. Footsteps. Not a good sign. The only people who came down this particular hall were the Mistress, her guests, and the guards. No one else. Suya's eyes went wide with fear, for her Master had taken a detour to find her.

"Suya..."
"It's alright Shifiro. I'll be okay. Just look at the wall."
"No I..."

Her Master entered the room then. Slamming the door back against the wall, glaring death. He stood about 6'10, with short blonde hair and baby blue eyes...well normally they were blue. Now they were tinged a dark red color, meaning he was either suffering from extreme hunger or he was a little mad.

"What are you doing here?"
"I apologize, Master."
"Get up."

Suya began shaking, fearful, and I tried to continue watching, just in case this as the last time I ever saw her. Everytime was the last time. She stood and went to him, head low, exposing the many bite marks along her neck. In a flash his hand went to her neck, picking her up from the ground, I heard her gasp and a growl rose in my throat. I balled my fists, resisting my sudden instincts. The Masters eyes snapped to mine and held them there. Momentarily paralyzed, I soon realized he was calling the Mistress.

"Maylene. Maylene, come look at your pet."
"Are you bothering him again, Qui?"
"No but he's bothering me. Again I have found them together."

Mistress joined the Master in the doorway, disapproval in her eyes. She shook her head, and I glanced at Suya, whose hands were gripping the Masters limply. She was running out of air, no doubt her eyes were glossing as well.

"Suya!"

Without thinking the words left my lips and I was at her side in seconds, pulling her from his grip. Just as quickly I was knocked back against the wall, and shrouded in darkness. The last thing I heard...

"S-shifiro..."

When I awoke I was in a new room. Though it was pitch black, I could tell by the way the room felt and smelled. I was also wearing clothes now, which bothered me for some reason. I groped around the small, incredibly small, room searching for anything. I then had the sense that I was moving, the walls were much too smooth. This could only mean one thing; I was being transferred. I would never see Suya again. Had I even saved her? Were my efforts in vain? Would I live to find out? I curled up into a ball and thought about what I would want on my death stone.

Shifironodenmaru
Age 8
"Taken By Love"

Of course I would never get one of those but if I did that's what I would want it to say. Whatever I was being moved in hit against something, slamming me up against the side. Willingly this time, I sank into further darkness.

Alright, that's it. You won't get another one of these for a while I hope...Farewell.

Lost,
Shifironodenmaru

Dear Pamondria,

This might make things worse. I hope it makes them better. I can tell you haven't been yourself since...her. So I will answer the question you continue to ask: "Why do you still look so sad when someone mentions her name?" Honestly Dria, I cannot stand having her name in my thoughts about you. Everytime I hear her name you come to my mind. This is because everyone is always comparing you to her. Saying somethings you do or say are just like her. I can't mix you two. It isn't right. I probably look sad because or a really stupid reason. Not because I still have feelings for her but because I feel...like...like I've betrayed her somehow. I told you it was a stupid reason. Anyway, to answer your question. My unneeded feeling of betraying her are becoming troublesome in the relationship I'm...no We're trying to have. I'm sorry about that. I'm hoping this helped, that it will take the confusion from your eyes and the sadness from your voice. I hope it will make you smile at me like before, hope that...I hope that it will allow you to trust me again. Now that I've written this I think I can say it. I don't want you to read this...though if you do it doesn't matter you'll already have heard these words.

I Love You, Dria.
Forgive Me,
Hirozuma

Dear Everyone, but mostly no one,

I don't know why I'm writing this, maybe I just need to. But it's probably the fever. You know nothing here smells like her. Nothing compares to her scent..or scents. The sweet smell of plum from her hair. The unique and curious scent of mint and cinnamon from her skin. Or the lovely perfume of cherry blossoms from her lips. Then there are her eyes, how the drift along blessing everything with her gaze. The way her eyes instantly change their emotion. It makes her so unpredictable. Is it so strange that I know these things about her? That I've begun to dream her voice? Perhaps she's talking to me while I sleep and her voice floats to my dreams. But I don't think so because I can hear her voice in the halls. Her sweet lilting voice singing ever so softly. Do you think me crazy? For knowing what makes her eyes glossen with fear? Or what makes them glimmer with joy, and darken with sadness? How her eyes captivate me. Perhaps she is right. Maybe we will get married. Though if we don't I sincerely hope she doesn't leave me. I don't know how I survived before her.

Losing My Mind To Her,
Osumaru