-_-_-_-_- Hatarunei
Her post get's an icky color, 'cause I don't like her. I mean I REALLY don't like her. She's mean, rude, inconsiderate, and in my way. She goes to my school and she thinks she knows more than me 'cause her dad is in the army. Excuse me, MY DAD OWNS THE ARMY! She thinks she's oh so smart. Miss I'm-gonna -insult-you-and-then-ask-you-to-play-with-me. Yeah right! She said my dad was 'a misuse of authority' I don't know what that means but, I'm insulted. I'm gonna get my cousins on her. I have enough to take her out. Ryo, Yoko, Nami, Shiroi, Kyara, Tara, Ryuu, Jun-Tei, Kei-Tei, Leiko, and if I wait till Auntie Sora and Auntie Nae have their kids I'll have even more for her destruction! I can hear the drums of war sounding. I Will Take Her Out.
She has To Pay,
Hatarunei Kanjiru
Saturday, September 16, 2006
Saturday, September 09, 2006
My Boyfriend Left Me for My Sister.
Niva---
Hey flowers! How is everything? Don't worry about the title my boyfriend didn't leave me for my sister. Actually my boyfriend doesn't pay any attention to her unless she's crying or inturrupting something. But that's different. So anyway earlier today I was walking around and I found a 'wallet' of money! It was awesome luck. It had like $500 in it. So I took it and bought some new clothes and a new pair of cresent blades. They are so awesome. Of course I bought my sister some stuff too. I know your alll thinking "All of that must have cost you more than $500." But actually it didn't. Can you say 'Discount'? lol I didn't buy anything for full price. But I got top quality. God I love my line of work. You get so many benefits! What do I do to get such rewards? If I wanted to tell you....you would already know wouldn't you? Well, flowers, I think I'm going to go now. I have a job in a few. So I'm going to go pick up my file and get to work. Later flowers!
Watch your back,
Niva
Hey flowers! How is everything? Don't worry about the title my boyfriend didn't leave me for my sister. Actually my boyfriend doesn't pay any attention to her unless she's crying or inturrupting something. But that's different. So anyway earlier today I was walking around and I found a 'wallet' of money! It was awesome luck. It had like $500 in it. So I took it and bought some new clothes and a new pair of cresent blades. They are so awesome. Of course I bought my sister some stuff too. I know your alll thinking "All of that must have cost you more than $500." But actually it didn't. Can you say 'Discount'? lol I didn't buy anything for full price. But I got top quality. God I love my line of work. You get so many benefits! What do I do to get such rewards? If I wanted to tell you....you would already know wouldn't you? Well, flowers, I think I'm going to go now. I have a job in a few. So I'm going to go pick up my file and get to work. Later flowers!
Watch your back,
Niva
Friday, September 08, 2006
Nei-Nei's Blog
Hatarunei----
'kay, so this blog is about two things: 1) My family 2) This blog. I think I'll star with this blog. The site itself is hardly ever used. And no one reads it, but I'm the one who has posted the most I think. And now I think it should be my blog. Does that sound mean? That I want it for myself? I concur (I learned that from my uncle) that it does sound a bit selfish, but it is kind of true. I do post the most. But I guess if it was my blog I would be here a lot writing in it and stuff. Constantly changing the format and things and then it might mess up the computer and blah blah. I don't think it will be mine but if it does become mine....I hope you continue to read it. Okay, now my family. Now, my brothers as you should know are...not smart sometimes. They get in trouble a lot...or they used to. Now they don't get in trouble, they don't do anything bad, they listen and they mind their manners and are respectful and everything! It's like a magic trick. But the downside to this is Papa won't talk to them anymore. I know someone out there is thinking "That doesn't make any sense, if their being good shouldn't he be praising them?" well I understand your confusion. You see, the last time they were bad they broke something Extremely important to Papa. He was really mad. So mad Momma was even afraid for a little while. Phon and Tsubara didn't even say sorry. Tsubara just ran to his corner in the kitchen and cried, and Phon stood there. Waiting for the punishment he thought was coming. Like normal. But this time Papa.....Papa just glared at him. He glared at Phon like he wanted to kill him. Then he disappeared and didn't come back for a while. Momma went after him and calmed him down. When they came back Phon and Tsubara and me were in bed, half asleep. I heard Momma and Papa go into their room and talk. Papa told Momma that he wasn't going to talk to Phon or Tsubara anymore. For a long time, he said he won't talk to them. And Momma agreed! That surprised me because normally Momma says something like "Now Hito, you know they don't mean it. They're just kids." or "I'm sure they've learned their lesson." then Papa agrees and everything goes back to normal. But this time Momma said "I completely agree. Ignore them as long as you want to, Hito." then they started speaking really quietly and I couldn't hear them no more. Since then Papa hasn't talked to them at all. He won't even say "mornin'" to them anymore when we all wake up. He only says it to me. At first Phon and Tsubara thought he was saying it to them too but Papa only looked at me and smiled. It made me sad a little bit. But I guessed Momma and Papa knew what they were doing. When Phon asks Papa a question Papa completely ignores him. He doesn't look around and ask "Who said that?" He just continues doing whatever like Phon never said anything. Yesterday I saw Tsubara crying in the garden underneath his favorite tree. I asked him what was wrong and he said "Dad doesn't love me anymore....I know it..." I told Tsubara that Papa still loved him but he didn't believe me. So I went inside and asked Papa if he still loved Tsubara.....but Papa didn't say anything. He just looked at me. I don't know what that means. Does he still love them or not? Phon doesn't show that he's affected but I know he is. I can hear him with Momma asking her when Papa will stop being mad, because he misses being able to hear Papa's stories, and reading with him and stuff. But Momma said she doesn't know, and I believe her. She has no idea. Just like the rest of us. I don't think Papa will ever get over this, but I hope he starts talking to Phon and Tsubara again soon. I feel like something in the family snapped and disappeared. So now we're all farther apart than we were before. I think I'll talk to Uncle Shunukasun about it. He knows everything 'cause he's old. Or maybe Uncle Kin....he talks to Papa a lot so maybe he knows. Oh oh! I know! I'll talk to Auntie Shunae and Uncle Lie when he gets back from Lance....France. Yeah France. He went to France with Auntie Tori to get married. Momma says they're going to come back with a cousin or two. I dunno. Maybe. I think I have enough cousins though. But it's okay to have a lot of cousins. Okay so I think I'm going to go to bed now. Good night.
Broken apart by invisible ice picks,
Nei-Nei
'kay, so this blog is about two things: 1) My family 2) This blog. I think I'll star with this blog. The site itself is hardly ever used. And no one reads it, but I'm the one who has posted the most I think. And now I think it should be my blog. Does that sound mean? That I want it for myself? I concur (I learned that from my uncle) that it does sound a bit selfish, but it is kind of true. I do post the most. But I guess if it was my blog I would be here a lot writing in it and stuff. Constantly changing the format and things and then it might mess up the computer and blah blah. I don't think it will be mine but if it does become mine....I hope you continue to read it. Okay, now my family. Now, my brothers as you should know are...not smart sometimes. They get in trouble a lot...or they used to. Now they don't get in trouble, they don't do anything bad, they listen and they mind their manners and are respectful and everything! It's like a magic trick. But the downside to this is Papa won't talk to them anymore. I know someone out there is thinking "That doesn't make any sense, if their being good shouldn't he be praising them?" well I understand your confusion. You see, the last time they were bad they broke something Extremely important to Papa. He was really mad. So mad Momma was even afraid for a little while. Phon and Tsubara didn't even say sorry. Tsubara just ran to his corner in the kitchen and cried, and Phon stood there. Waiting for the punishment he thought was coming. Like normal. But this time Papa.....Papa just glared at him. He glared at Phon like he wanted to kill him. Then he disappeared and didn't come back for a while. Momma went after him and calmed him down. When they came back Phon and Tsubara and me were in bed, half asleep. I heard Momma and Papa go into their room and talk. Papa told Momma that he wasn't going to talk to Phon or Tsubara anymore. For a long time, he said he won't talk to them. And Momma agreed! That surprised me because normally Momma says something like "Now Hito, you know they don't mean it. They're just kids." or "I'm sure they've learned their lesson." then Papa agrees and everything goes back to normal. But this time Momma said "I completely agree. Ignore them as long as you want to, Hito." then they started speaking really quietly and I couldn't hear them no more. Since then Papa hasn't talked to them at all. He won't even say "mornin'" to them anymore when we all wake up. He only says it to me. At first Phon and Tsubara thought he was saying it to them too but Papa only looked at me and smiled. It made me sad a little bit. But I guessed Momma and Papa knew what they were doing. When Phon asks Papa a question Papa completely ignores him. He doesn't look around and ask "Who said that?" He just continues doing whatever like Phon never said anything. Yesterday I saw Tsubara crying in the garden underneath his favorite tree. I asked him what was wrong and he said "Dad doesn't love me anymore....I know it..." I told Tsubara that Papa still loved him but he didn't believe me. So I went inside and asked Papa if he still loved Tsubara.....but Papa didn't say anything. He just looked at me. I don't know what that means. Does he still love them or not? Phon doesn't show that he's affected but I know he is. I can hear him with Momma asking her when Papa will stop being mad, because he misses being able to hear Papa's stories, and reading with him and stuff. But Momma said she doesn't know, and I believe her. She has no idea. Just like the rest of us. I don't think Papa will ever get over this, but I hope he starts talking to Phon and Tsubara again soon. I feel like something in the family snapped and disappeared. So now we're all farther apart than we were before. I think I'll talk to Uncle Shunukasun about it. He knows everything 'cause he's old. Or maybe Uncle Kin....he talks to Papa a lot so maybe he knows. Oh oh! I know! I'll talk to Auntie Shunae and Uncle Lie when he gets back from Lance....France. Yeah France. He went to France with Auntie Tori to get married. Momma says they're going to come back with a cousin or two. I dunno. Maybe. I think I have enough cousins though. But it's okay to have a lot of cousins. Okay so I think I'm going to go to bed now. Good night.
Broken apart by invisible ice picks,
Nei-Nei
Monday, August 28, 2006
Smelly
Hatarunei ------
I found something smelly in the basement. It looks weird too. Phon, my brother, said it was something dead. Tsubara, said it was rotten food. Hiro and Hara said it was probably rotting flesh of some kind. I told Momma and she said not to go down there anymore. But I don't think that's fair, 'cause Phon and Tsubara get to go down there still. I don't think Papa knows about the mysterious smelly thing in the basement. If he does he didn't do anything about it. But I didn't tell him either. So...I dunno. What do you think it is? It's blackish, and smelly, and it looks kinda lie a head. But that's not what it is. Phon said so. Oh! Also, there's a weird hole in it too. Like a stab wound or something. But that's not what it is, Phon said so. As you can probably tell, Phon is my favorite. Other than Papa of course but he doesn't count 'cause he's the Daddy. Momma and Daddy are going out tonight. Just like always, their not telling us where their going, or what their doing. But that's okay. At least my Momma is at my house. Auntie Suketsu is being weird and she's never at her house. Ryo knows why, and Zuna knows why. And Phon knows why, but me and Tsubara can't know 'cause "It's none of our business" Peh! I'll find out. I can hear people's thoughts so I'll find out sooner or later....If I can figure out how to listen to one person's thoughts at a time...Papa won't let me listen to his thoughts. I didn't ask him, he thought it at me. "Get out of my head, Nei-Nei." that's what he thought. I shook my head and he thought at me again, "My thoughts are to be unknown to you unless I tell them to you myself. Understood?" I thought back at him, "Yes, Papa." and then he picked me and we went to go get ice cream. Spending time with Papa is fun. Even though most of the time it's not for long. I think he spends the most time with me before I go to sleep. 'Cause I can't sleep without him near anyway. *shrugs* I don't know why. Either Papa or Phon has to be close enough to touch, or I can't sleep. Well I think I'm done now. I think my brothers are making a club in the basement....
Girls Are Never Allowed,
Hatarunei
I found something smelly in the basement. It looks weird too. Phon, my brother, said it was something dead. Tsubara, said it was rotten food. Hiro and Hara said it was probably rotting flesh of some kind. I told Momma and she said not to go down there anymore. But I don't think that's fair, 'cause Phon and Tsubara get to go down there still. I don't think Papa knows about the mysterious smelly thing in the basement. If he does he didn't do anything about it. But I didn't tell him either. So...I dunno. What do you think it is? It's blackish, and smelly, and it looks kinda lie a head. But that's not what it is. Phon said so. Oh! Also, there's a weird hole in it too. Like a stab wound or something. But that's not what it is, Phon said so. As you can probably tell, Phon is my favorite. Other than Papa of course but he doesn't count 'cause he's the Daddy. Momma and Daddy are going out tonight. Just like always, their not telling us where their going, or what their doing. But that's okay. At least my Momma is at my house. Auntie Suketsu is being weird and she's never at her house. Ryo knows why, and Zuna knows why. And Phon knows why, but me and Tsubara can't know 'cause "It's none of our business" Peh! I'll find out. I can hear people's thoughts so I'll find out sooner or later....If I can figure out how to listen to one person's thoughts at a time...Papa won't let me listen to his thoughts. I didn't ask him, he thought it at me. "Get out of my head, Nei-Nei." that's what he thought. I shook my head and he thought at me again, "My thoughts are to be unknown to you unless I tell them to you myself. Understood?" I thought back at him, "Yes, Papa." and then he picked me and we went to go get ice cream. Spending time with Papa is fun. Even though most of the time it's not for long. I think he spends the most time with me before I go to sleep. 'Cause I can't sleep without him near anyway. *shrugs* I don't know why. Either Papa or Phon has to be close enough to touch, or I can't sleep. Well I think I'm done now. I think my brothers are making a club in the basement....
Girls Are Never Allowed,
Hatarunei
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Haunting
It's not that I don't want to think about Her but I can't help it. She haunts my dreams. She is in my every waking thought. I feel I've betrayed her somehow...though I know I didn't. Have I done something wrong by moving on? Is there a possibility she could come back to me? And if she did...what would I do then? I wonder about the child sometimes. How he'll look when he's older...what it would have been like to teach him to talk, and write, and read...What things might have been like with Her. I know I should try to forget and move on. Just let them go...but I can't seem to get her out of my head and it's worrying my love. She's always asking me if I'm alright, looking at me...bearing a worry in her eyes that just doesn't belong there. I've been trying to reassure her. Talking to her calmly telling her everything is fine. But I know she's not buying. I think I should just tell her the truth. But everytime the opportunity comes around I find myself spinning her more and more lies. My father has also told me I shouldn't feel bad about this. Matter of fact, my sister and little brothers have told me the same things. And yet....She continues to haunt me. Along with the child, speaking kindly. Never saying anything harsh or vengeful. Occasionally the child asks if he can come and live with me...I can't help but try to hold back tears when he poses this question. My regretful decline breaks him into tears as well. I wonder if she bears any ill will against me for what happened to them....I don't think she does. She never says anything about it. She always asks about me. Or my brothers, or my father. Never wanting to reveal how she's doing. Sometimes I can see the wounds that caused her death. Never do I see them on the child. I am thankful for this. I don't think I could handle seeing such things on a child. Let alone my child. Just the thought makes my chest feel heavy with sorrow. When I first heard the news of their parting...I didn't think I would ever find another love. I didn't think I would live on past that day. But I did. I found new love, I still have life. I'll visit their graves tonight. I'll explain it to my love as well.
Rising Against The Pain,
Keishin
Rising Against The Pain,
Keishin
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
Poetry Rambling
--- Anonoymous----
Watching you
Watching me
My mind writhing along the jagged edge of our memories
The smiles hidden behind the frowns
Of misunderstanding
The heavy blow of unjustice
It was never meant to be
You and I
I and You
In this deception of love
All along knowing true
Somethings will never be
When those words formed from you mouth
I held back the tears
I smiled and said your right
All the lies started here
In return their hatred turned to love
And you now bask in it
I stand on the sidelines
Trying not to think
About you
About me
About us
And Our memory
This lie we've netted ourselves in
Working ever faster
To unknot
So we may be free
The struggling is working
Against us
Lay still you say
It's better this way
I understand completely
My heart doesn't enjoy reality
I know yours feels the same
You and I
Meant to be
Torn apart
By reality
She's too young
What's he thinking?
I can't believe they're together
Then I think
Of how things
Could be so much worse
Of all the things
They could see
They choose to see our 'problem'
I wish there was
A solution
Alas, the problem is
Me.
Somehow....I never thought I could feel this way. Torn in places so deep, this rip may never heal. I will scar and I hope you know our jagged memory lies peacefully inside my heart. Waiting to be smoothed out. Unfortunately I have the feeling that this will never happen and that I will toss and turn, continuously, untill time rubs this ache into a smal piece of glass. That instead of shredding me, only stabs me on occasion. I don't blame us I blame them and their incapacity to know of loves true nature. I hope you never dechiper this message as what it is. I hope they never find out it was me. I hope I will still be able to look at you and not burst into tears when you turn from me. I hope someday....I will understand...why. I'm not sure why I wrote this. I think I just need to get it out without someone knowing it was me. Thanks for being there for me.
Sweet Dreams,
Anonoymous
Watching you
Watching me
My mind writhing along the jagged edge of our memories
The smiles hidden behind the frowns
Of misunderstanding
The heavy blow of unjustice
It was never meant to be
You and I
I and You
In this deception of love
All along knowing true
Somethings will never be
When those words formed from you mouth
I held back the tears
I smiled and said your right
All the lies started here
In return their hatred turned to love
And you now bask in it
I stand on the sidelines
Trying not to think
About you
About me
About us
And Our memory
This lie we've netted ourselves in
Working ever faster
To unknot
So we may be free
The struggling is working
Against us
Lay still you say
It's better this way
I understand completely
My heart doesn't enjoy reality
I know yours feels the same
You and I
Meant to be
Torn apart
By reality
She's too young
What's he thinking?
I can't believe they're together
Then I think
Of how things
Could be so much worse
Of all the things
They could see
They choose to see our 'problem'
I wish there was
A solution
Alas, the problem is
Me.
Somehow....I never thought I could feel this way. Torn in places so deep, this rip may never heal. I will scar and I hope you know our jagged memory lies peacefully inside my heart. Waiting to be smoothed out. Unfortunately I have the feeling that this will never happen and that I will toss and turn, continuously, untill time rubs this ache into a smal piece of glass. That instead of shredding me, only stabs me on occasion. I don't blame us I blame them and their incapacity to know of loves true nature. I hope you never dechiper this message as what it is. I hope they never find out it was me. I hope I will still be able to look at you and not burst into tears when you turn from me. I hope someday....I will understand...why. I'm not sure why I wrote this. I think I just need to get it out without someone knowing it was me. Thanks for being there for me.
Sweet Dreams,
Anonoymous
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Sometimes...
---Niva
Have you ever had that weird feeling that you were being watched? And then you get all paranoid and start looking around and people think your crazy? Yeah....I did that just now...I don't know if I was right about the whole there-are-sooo-eyes-on-me-right-now freak out feeling but I hope so. My boyfriend is on a "business trip" right now...I don't think that's all he's doing...but I have trust in him. I think I'm paranoid 'cause he's not here. Ya'think? *shrugs* Hey, have you ever felt like you were doing something really bad but you weren't? Like you suddenly felt extremely guilty for something you didn't do??? ...No...? ....Well maybe that's just me, but I do that alot and it's weird. Like I'm feeling someone else's guilt. It's weird. My chest get's all heavy, and I feel the sudden urge to cry and apologize to everybody for everything...weird huh? Yeah. I don't get it either. This post is completely random. I'm waiting. Trying to get away from my twin sister, Nira. Our names are really close, huh? It's weird isn't it? I say it's weird alot don't I? Sorry. See! I'm having that feeling right now. I'm listening to "Planet Hell" by Nightwish. Heard it? It's delicious. This is the fifth time I've listened to it. I love it. Actually, Nightwish is delicious in its self. Really. The drummer OMG! I can't pronounce their names though (<< can you say lame??) Gonna go now, rock on my flowers!
Always Runnin',
Niva
Have you ever had that weird feeling that you were being watched? And then you get all paranoid and start looking around and people think your crazy? Yeah....I did that just now...I don't know if I was right about the whole there-are-sooo-eyes-on-me-right-now freak out feeling but I hope so. My boyfriend is on a "business trip" right now...I don't think that's all he's doing...but I have trust in him. I think I'm paranoid 'cause he's not here. Ya'think? *shrugs* Hey, have you ever felt like you were doing something really bad but you weren't? Like you suddenly felt extremely guilty for something you didn't do??? ...No...? ....Well maybe that's just me, but I do that alot and it's weird. Like I'm feeling someone else's guilt. It's weird. My chest get's all heavy, and I feel the sudden urge to cry and apologize to everybody for everything...weird huh? Yeah. I don't get it either. This post is completely random. I'm waiting. Trying to get away from my twin sister, Nira. Our names are really close, huh? It's weird isn't it? I say it's weird alot don't I? Sorry. See! I'm having that feeling right now. I'm listening to "Planet Hell" by Nightwish. Heard it? It's delicious. This is the fifth time I've listened to it. I love it. Actually, Nightwish is delicious in its self. Really. The drummer OMG! I can't pronounce their names though (<<
Always Runnin',
Niva
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