He, Who is Our Father.

Bang bang bang!

Windless, soundless. Slow-motion breathing. Stop.
Force it up and out, into the ocean, into the sky.
Stop.
Rustling leaves. Kissing frost. Moisture.
Stop.
Brisk air and crisp sound. Biting, frigidity.
Stop.
Is this about the weather?

Bang bang bang!

It's all over now. See you next time, I promise.
My father, my friend.
Angel nor devil.
Saint nor sinner.
The bell tolls thrice in calling out your soul.
Strength and power, wisdom, knowledge.
Heat in the eyes of my elder.
Passion in the words.
Experience in hands and fingertips.
That which cannot be expressed through words is shown with expert skill.
Adept, intellect, surety.
What is lost?
Nothing really, truly, there is so much left behind.
"The physical form is fleeting, the soul, the mark you leave on this world is permanence."
Say that, did you not?
Written words across my chest, scarred in, blood and flesh.
You, who are my blood.
You who hath borne my flesh.
I bid you, farewell.

Bang.

Phillip, Son of William.
          &
Adellia, Blooded Daughter of William

Tromping Through Snow

I'm not the poetic type.

Its been a rough five weeks. I haven't done anything. I have only been able to work through the loneliness I didn't expect to feel. When I originally made up this deal with you, I thought "It'll be a breeze.". Holy shit was I wrong.

I'm not going to sit here and romanticize how much I miss you though. I'd rather tell you to your face. But I want you to know that I hear you. I know you miss me. It's mutual. And this Saturday, when I can finally wrap you in my arms, I want you to answer my question.

Is $20,000 enough for the perfect wedding dress?

Johnathan

Tip Toe on Hot Lava

A heart beats two feet away, I can hear it, I think I can feel it and the constant pounding just makes my skin crawl. I stretch towards it, any attempt to get closer sounds like a good idea. Is this heart beat a trap? Is it a way to keep me from my sanity. It couldn't be. It sounds too innocent, that heart. So I continue to lean, to rip and tatter my body in search of this, something. This something real. It's something I want. Something I crave for but cannot reach. No matter how far I stretch, how much I try, that beat is too far away. It cannot be touched. Nor harmed.

The beat stops. I cease my stretching. Had it ever been there? I know I didn't make it up. My torn limbs and tired muscles could not have lied. Could they? I stare down at my battered body. My legs are limp, my shoulders slumped. I pout. The beat starts again and my eyes flicker. It cannot be back! Is it closer? Excitement sprints through my veins and I grin like a cat. Stretching evermore, past my limits I reach out again. If only to grasp the heart, to feel its subtle pounding.

Finally, when all hope seemed lost I reach the heart. My gaze drifts over it with such longing that I cannot control the heavy sigh the exits my lips. Just a hands length away, I grab at it. But this dream is not to be. Something blocks this heart, something strong and invisible. It is as if iron had been wrought around it. Protection. This heart is not mine. The pout comes back and my bottom lip finds its way to my chin. Tears: the ceaseless rivers of my soul pour from my eyes. All this effort, all this pain and I cannot have the beat. Shirking from the invisible iron I scream. A horrible heart wrenching scream. All my blood and tears fall from this stream of undoing. As if cracking from the inside, I buckle in a wave of sorrow. Motivation leaves me on the ground, staring at your heart. One other wasteful breath and the cage breaks. But I dare not go near it. Instead I reach out with my senses, leaving the physical behind to cope. I embrace the heart with my mind and soul; body must heal.

It is then I realize that in order to obtain this heart. Your heart. I must open up. I must remove my own heart and place it in the cage with yours. Our hearts will reach out to each other, bodies left to tip toe on hot lava. It is the heart the matters after all.

Dear Everyone,

So I'm a little new in town. There are a ton of things I don't know. Things I know I need to learn in order to stay here. I'd like to think I'm doing a good job. But to those of you I've met: thanks for guiding me. To those of you I have yet to meet: I couldn't be more excited to see you! This is a right of passage.

Dear You,

You'll know who you are by the end of this. Thank you for taking care of me in their absence. I know you didn't want me. Not knowing whether I'd be a liability or not. But I appreciate it. And I love you. A lot.

To Johnathan,
Help me to be strong. I need you like I need breath in my lungs. I can't do this alone. I know you miss me and I miss you too (not that I'm allowed to since your afraid to get attached). I just want you know that I think of you every second of every day. And since you haven't been with me, my soul has shrunk a little. This is no confession of any sort, just cold fact ;). So don't panic. I'd never confess anything serious online anyways. I hope you can see it in you to stick around for a few more weeks. I'd really like to see your handsome face when this is over. Thank you for being who you are. You couldn't give me a better gift.

'L' word,
Lin

Your not a true voice until you've blogged.
Goodnight World!

~899~

If you once forfeit the confidence of your fellow citizens, you can never regain their respect and esteem. It is true that you may fool all of the people some of the time; you can even fool some of the people all of the time; but you can’t fool all of the people all of the time.

Abraham Lincoln

No matter how deep a study you make. What you really have to rely on is your own intuition and when it comes down to it, you really don’t know what’s going to happen until you do it.

Konosuke Matsushita

Few things help an individual more than to place responsibility upon him, and to let him know that you trust him.

Booker T. Washington

It is better to suffer wrong than to do it, and happier to be sometimes cheated than not to trust.

Samuel Johnson

We are not afraid to entrust the American people with unpleasant facts, foreign ideas, alien philosophies, and competitive values. For a nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people.

John F. Kennedy

There is danger from all men. The only maxim of a free government ought to be to trust no man living with power to endanger the public liberty.

John Adams

Whenever the people are well-informed, they can be trusted with their own government.

Thomas Jefferson

Searching, Searching!

I woke up in a dream today
to the cold of the static
and put my cold feet on the floor
forgot about yesterday
remembering I'm pretending to be where I'm not anymore

A little taste of hypocrisy
and I'm left in the wake of the mistakes
slow to react
even though your so close to me
your still so distant and I can't bring you back

(Chorus)
It's true the way I feel
what's promised by your face
the sound of your voice
painted on my memories
even if your not with me, I'm with you
(you) now I see
given everything inside
(with you) you, now I see
even when I close my eyes

I hate you when you hit me back
we fall to the floor
the rest of the day stands still
a fine line between this and that
when things go wrong I pretend that the past isn't real

I'm trapped in these memories
and I'm left in the wake of the mistakes
slow to react
so even though your close to me
your still so distant and I can't bring you back

(Chorus)
It's true the way I feel
what's promised by your face
the sound of your voice
painted on my memories
even if your not with me, I'm with you
(you) now I see
given everything inside

No, no matter how far we've come
I can't wait to see tomorrow
no matter how far we've come, I
I can't wait to see tomorrow
(with you) now I see
given everything inside

Linkin Park "With You"

Davon II

A memo for the ladies

Љубов. Лојалност. Пријателство.
Translation: Love. Loyalty. Friendship.
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Я люблю ее. Больше всего я люблю ее. Желаем только лучшие для нее. Только счастье ее заставляет мое сердце свет. --- Shiro

Translation: I love her. More than anything do I adore her. Wish nothing but the best for her. Only her happiness makes my heart light.
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Tā gǎibiàn le wǒ shēnghuó de xǔduō fāngmiàn. Wǒ zuìdà de kuàilè shì tā de xiào shēng. Dāng wǒ xiàlái, wǒ kěyǐ yīlài tā. Shénme shì zhùfú wǒ suǒ dédào de. --- Euikinsuke

Translation: She has changed my life in so many ways. My greatest pleasure is her laughter. When I am down, I can depend on her. What a blessing I have been given.
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La luz de mi vida. ¿A quién más puedo mirar a quién me va a sacar de mi oscuridad? Estoy eternamente agradecido por sus sacrificios y las luchas que ella pasa.Te quiero, cariño. -- Leon'

Translation: The light of my life. Who else can I look to who will bring me out of my darkness? I am forever grateful for her sacrifices and the strife she goes through. I love you, darling.
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Ένα δώρο από αυτά υψηλότερα από θεούς.Φτιαγμένο για μένα.Που μου έδωσε δώρο μετά πολύτιμο δώρο. Πάντα σε εγρήγορση και πιστός, αυτή είναι δική μου. Και εγώ πάντα δικό της. -- Max

Translation: A gift from those higher than gods. Made for me. She has given me gift after precious gift. Ever vigilant and faithful, she is mine. And I forever hers.
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Mpenzi wangu. Moyo wangu. Nafsi yangu. Mwanga katika giza. Milele kwa ajili yangu. Milele kwa ajili yenu. -- Tsukaruyen

Translation: Beloved. My Heart. My soul. Forever for me. Forever for you.
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Avec vos conseils, je suis capable d'être un grand homme. Vous me donnez la force dont j'ai besoin. Vous permettez-moi de voir ce que je ne peux pas. Sans vous, je serais sûrement à l'automne. -- Renovarin

Translation: With your advice, I am able to be a great man. You give me the strength I need. You let me see what I can not. Without you, I would surely fall.
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Il mio più grande amore. La mia passione più selvaggia. Mia moglie e madre dei miei figli. Come ha fatto riesco a respirare anche senza di te prima? --- Osumaru

Translation: My greatest love. My wildest passion. My wife and mother of my children. How did I breathe without you before?
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With Love.

Light Festival

It's always been this way. Tight leather and chains, black and red mingling into blood. Anything else would be confusing. But looking through the photo's of my childhood with my little ones this afternoon brought back a thought. I used to be usual. I haven't always been outlandish and exotic. Haven't always been a slut. I remember now, days so long ago when I was running around in pink, catching butterflies in my father's gardens with Lie watching from the porch and Ki and Shunae at my side. Toddling along, trying to keep up. I remember childhood as a horrific experience. All the way through being a teenager until just a few years ago did I loathe my existence with the greatest passion. But I've been changed. i still have my style that can't be taken from me. That which sets me apart from every other Chinese girl. Every other dragon shaalma. Every other wife and mother. I'm still me. Despite what happens, has happened, will happen.

Can it change I wonder? Can the world change to accommodate my little daughter, who looks up to me as if I am the Moon? Will it hold true for my baby boy who wishes to be his father as a star wishes to be the Sun? Or will the world turn it's back on them as it has done to me? So many times I have wondered and prayed to my god that the world will have mercy on their tender hearts. Give light labor to their little hands and place only smooth paths in front of their soft feet. But today, as I helped them get ready to go to their first Light Festival, I realized, as every mother must, that I can only pray. I can only hold onto my dreams and fears as they battle through the world as I did. I will only be able to guide them and wipe away tears of bitter sorrow as the experience life for what it is.

As I type this, I wonder still if this is how my mother felt when she watched me dress for my own festival. If my father looks down on me in shame still for taking paths improper for a shaalma of my standing. Perhaps...perhaps they learned as I have learned that they cannot control what is no longer theirs. As you give birth, you give freedom and free will. Though you can guide and advise all you want. The choice is left to them.

My only hope now, as I pray for their safety on this night, is that I am able to continue to give them what I hope will aid them in the future.

愛,
小李，陈建宇*

*Xiao

Visiting Hope

On October 18, 2006 I wrote about how my life began falling apart. Before I took my life. You may want to recap before you read this. Its been a while. But nothing's changed. Four years only makes a difference if something changes your life. I have yet to come across that...something. This time I'll tell you about after I was reborn. When Angel cast me out.

I blinked slowly when the suns rays shone on my eyelids. Wiping a hand over my face I looked around hoping I would be in some fancy hotel in a warm place. To my dismay there was none of that. The airs chill swept through my skin quickly and forced me into wakefulness. I stood and found that I was outside, naked, in the middle of some forest in some place I didn't know. So I began walking. All sorts of thoughts formed in my head. Who was I? What happened? How do I get out of here. It was sometime later that I discovered I was just outside of Greece and my name was Loraina. Then it all came back and I couldn't help the groan that escaped my lips. Eventually I did find a hotel, there I bathed and stole some mans clothes.

I wandered around Greece for six days before I saw someone I recognized. If you had been there, you may have felt my heart pounding through the floor. My mouth opened to shout to him, but I snapped it shut before it could betray me. Angel's handsome face turned my way anyways and I felt his blank stare etch its way into my skin. What he did next, I didn't expect...he smiled at me. I blinked in confusion as he dropped his fruit and jogged over to me. "I must know you." His voice had dropped at least ten notes since the last time I saw him, though it had been only two years. I longed to deny it and give him a false name with which he could create his own person. But I had already taken too much from him. "Loraina..." I mumbled daring to look up him. "Ah yes! I remember. Why are you wearing mens clothing?" He seemed genuinelly perplexed and I tilted my head. "Never mind it. Come come!" He grabbed my hand, too gently and pulled me towards his previous location. "Oh..I shouldn't go with you.." I panicked, my eyes widening. "Its no problem." He turned and looked me in the eyes, "Truly." Now as confused as he must have been I slowly nodded my head, and allowed him to guide me. He couldn't have forgotten his brother's death. Though he must have, because he welcomed me into his home. 

Over the next few weeks I became acquainted with the people that had become his family and met his little sister. She was a darling thing. Her name was Pamondria , though she couldn't say it as she was just a baby. Angel and I became close again and it wasn't long after our meeting in the market that my heart expanded to include him in its repetoire. It took even less time for him to recall how exactly his brother had died. I fell in love with Angel the same way I had with Micheal and he loved me much the same. It was the anniversary of his brother's death and he wanted me to come to his grave site with him. I refused, I simply couldn't do it. I remembered when I'd murdered him clear as day, whether Angel did or not. He insisted however and I ended up attending the rememberance anyways. I brought with me a single black rose and placed it gently on his headstone. This was the marker that sparked Angel's memory. I saw it flash in his eyes, the vision of me standing over his siblings corpse with nothing but loathing written on my face. "...You.." He whispered from behind me. His kind baritone had become nothing but acid and I couldn't control the flinch that played at my muscles. "You did this..." I heard the acid tremble and took my opportunity, turning to face him. "It was an accident..it was long ago and I've paid my price..please...Angel...forgive me." His face became flustered and rage overtook the remorse that had been there before. "It was not long ago!" He yelled, his voice shaking the earth. "It was years ago! Not decades!" His anger made me weep, I could not control the tears as they fell down my cheeks. "I did nothing but love him.." I cried, wrapping my arms around myself and sinking to the ground. "...To the last second I loved him...I just thought.." "You did not think!" He yelled louder. My hand went to the headstone and I hugged it desperately, willing Micheal to return, knowing there was nothing I could do to beseech this fury. I heard him growl above me and didn't raise a lash until rough hands gripped my arms. "YOU KILLED HIM!" He hollered in my face, lifting me away from the headstone. I reached for it as he pulled me away, "You shouldn't be here!" He dropped me infront of him, so that he blocked Micheal from my reach. "You shouldn't..." His eyes seemed to have glazed over and his yell faded to that of a whisper. "Pleeease Angel.." I bawled, crawling towards him, "I love you..." He backed away. "You love nothing." He spoke firmly, not willing to lower his eyes and look at me, he stared towards the skyline instead. "Your not welcome in my home. I never want to see you again." It was the last thing he said before he turned and walked away. On the ground, where his foot had been lay a crushed black rose. Beyond that Micheal's headstone read, "Micheal Demonte' Narun-Ray, Beloved Brother and Son."

--Three months later I was wandering Greece again, watching Angel from afar, in hopes that I could somehow speak with him again. Though I never worked up the nerves to try. I visited Micheals grave every Thursday. Still do, and whenever I go back...my roses have disappeared.

I know its been a long time, I told you I'd tell you over time, though I couldn't have anticipated it would be this long. *shrugs* Im sorry. 

Reaction is everything,
Loraina Kiarwa

Withstanding

Endless, heartless

Circumstance

Which way to call my certain path?

No man can say which way is meant to be…

Falling faster. I’ll never stop.

Giving your heart just ain’t enough

Perhaps this is how its meant to be…

With little faith in fate these days it’s a wonder how I stay awake.

The dream world of a child is much sweeter.

My life is just a passionate blur.

A passionate blur in which I’ve been thrown.

Take what little life I have left and give it to someone whos left

I’m grieving cause you’re already gone.

I cannot stay in this hellish place.

You’ve come to far to quit the race.

It’s a never ending uphill fight. I’m tired of this. Make it stop.

You’ve got the knife, just pull it a little closer.

The metal stings. My blood is warm. My vision swims. It won’t be long.

I’ve forgotten how hard this is to see…

Oh don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine…

Yeah, we’ll see.

Just as soon as I cross over this river.

I missed the key to stopping this, its over now. I’m callin quits.

The blade’s still warm in my hand…

But I just can’t..

I’m a Survivor.

Ry & Thetera

Harmless Vowls

I am more than you think I am. Though I am ignored, though I am betrayed and neglected, I AM
more than you know. I was better than all this from the start, but I've always been the carpet beneath your feet. You say it's harmless, so go fuck yourselves, and thank you for leaving me behind. I waited for days. I waited next to the rotting corpses of family and friends, stood right by my mothers faded heart in the cold...and no one came. You didn't even look. I'd expect it from them...but you said you loved me. How can you presume to know what love is when you don't know how to show kindness.
"Don't talk to her, she's a runt."
"She doesn't eat. Leave her be."
"Sure, fuck her. I don't know why you'd want to though."
"Just tie her up."
When we were playing pretend you set my soul on fire. And it burned with a flame so profound I knew it couldn't be anything but real. Then she came strutting by flicking her tail and what was I to you? A doormat.
All of you. I had no counsel, I had no friend, no wisdom. He's ignored me ever since, maybe he figured out I wasn't going to grow anymore. 5'1 is too short for a lycan. 100lbs too light. Yeah...my skin is tan and my eyes are wintry blue/almost white. But Im the same on the inside as the rest of you. You couldn't have set your suspicions aside and helped?
I am nothing now...not that I was anything to you before. They found me, they cut my hair and they left me there with my dead mother and father. Who could I have been...anyone without you. If I had had a choice...I would have come out 6'6, lean with long black hair and green eyes...but I didn't...I cant now, its too late.

I wish you well,
Jasielle

P.S There's so much more to me than you could ever imagine...

Secret Mission

Hey you!
Yes. You.
Interested consumer.
I have a very special deal for you, that I can't give to everyone.
50-70% off all pets for a limited time.
My brother is getting married and doesn't have time for all of them anymore.
So if you want one...
Now is the time.
As always, there is a large range of breeds and ages. But it's first come with the best price wins.
Some prices are negotiable, but some are hard limits.
Most are set at the minimum limit. But haggling is always fun!
Our most valued breeds right now are yours for the taking such as:

Hybrids:
fox/dragon
hell hound/fallen angel
dragon/phoenix
vampire/raven
siren/werewolf
water demon/angel
doggen/shadow
vampire/werewolf

Pure bloods:
blood angel
black wolf
fire sprite
gray wolf
lycanthrope
fox

Our stocks are limited, but we will do special orders for a fee.
Questions about our pets can be directed to Johnathan, or JR.
Hope to see you soon,

Little Shop Staff

Ha. Ha.

You're a bitch.
I just want you to know that.
From the bottom of my broken heart, I really believe that.
You are a spineless, pathetic, Worthless, and dishonorable excuse for a Male.
And I sincerely hope that any woman you ever try to date after this is very aware of the fact.
I know, this is low and immature...
but I want EVERYONE to know it.
So its on the Internet. :)
Anyway, like I said.
Bitch.
Oh, and you can have your ring back.
I OBVIOUSLY don't need it anymore.
I'm still going to the dance, too!
So Ha!

Honestly though. You really should move out of town, because once my mom and dad(s) read this...you're screwed. Seriously, even my baby sister will be after you. And she has a lot of little henchmen (heehee I love you two.) My point is though, should any bodily harm come to you from my doing this, I'm not sorry. I don't want you dead....but if they rip off an arm or something....maybe your treacherous tongue...I'm game. I wouldn't give it a second thought. Oh! And another thing! She left a letter in my locker telling me how sorry she was about all this and blah blah blah. How she was only dating you on the DL on a dare and that she really wanted to stay friends and whatever. No. Fuck you too, Kendhal. You're a dirty slut just like he is. I can't believe I trusted you alone with him. FOR TEN MINUTES! Ugh. Anyway, just...keep her away from me. I don't want to get suspended for beating her ass. If she steps to me, I'll do it. And you both know I will. *smiles* Have a great rest of the week everyone!

With Love,
Mochidzuki Lynn Toshibaya Tazuna Fe

P.S: Oh! I almost forgot. Thought you were off the hook, didn't ya, Vin?
Attention! Lovely ladies of the standard! Please do stay away from Vincent Dimitrius "Prophet" DeMura. He really isn't worth your time. Thank you.

Hear Ye, Humans.

The human life span is incredibly short. humans seem to find this extremely stressful, and thus try to fill each and everyday with the most they possibly can. Some humans, enjoy doing "death-defying" acts. Which baffles me. Why if you are so afraid of dying would you want to tempt it? Ahem. Master William is seeking to expand the lifespan of the average human, for the benefit of those few humans he cares for. Also, because of the current dangerous goings-on, He will provide permanent shelter and protection. Of course, to apply you must be human, your age matters not. Master William will not accept abundances of families seeking his alliance. If you wish to be taken in, you must work for it and earn your keep. He will accept as many as he needs for the experimentation, and very few for extra services. Those that are interested are to seek me out, and after inquiry will bring you to Master William for appraisal.
Good Luck.

Sincerely,
Lolan

The Depth of Emotion

We are fire. We are ice. The wind the rain, lava and snow and everything in between. Our lives have been behind the looking glass for so many dead hours. Its simple. Its simply hard to carve through that reflective mirror that has trampled through our paths. Our grass is dead. Our homes are burned. Our incoherent thoughts are bleeding into our retinas yet each second we try to hide, more and more of this fear, this....emotion, blurs our vision. We've found ourselves wilted. Flowers, empty of their petals and missing a few leaves. Are we broken? No. Our stems are tall, straight and a vibrant green. But our decorations have fallen to the floor.
We see death daily. In the stale air, on the road, in the browning of our yards and in the lone feathers falling from the sky. Each time it becomes more real to us. More, tangible. Like you can touch it without fear of it's lanky appendages bruising your skin. Or coating your muscles with disease. We survive knowing that it's there. Knowing that some day, that man that harmed your child will be gone.That the nurse overdosing her patients will fade....and that the two pint bully at school won't last past 95. When it happens, we cry. We scream, we run and pretend that it was never there. That it was never coming. That death, when it shows it self, has not been slinking around this whole time. We will never know how to deal with it. We will never know the right words to say, or who we should be comforting. We will feel exposed. We'll feel betrayed and lost. The only bright side is that we know for a fact, where they went; and when we are finally calm enough to think straight, we go back to thinking of death as an intangible source.
Our hearts can only take so much. They aren't machines. No one can unscrew our rib cages and replace the batteries. Taking us apart and reassembling us won't do the trick. How do you handle a fragile package? You don't. You leave it alone until it's unwrapped, then put it somewhere safe so it won't become damaged; and when you're ready to take it out again, you dust it off and handle it with care.We are not glass. We are ceramic. We can be glued back together. Finding the pieces may be hard, but it is worth it when we return to normal.
I'm not asking you to forget. Nor do I want your trembling heart to cease it's beat. I want you to become the shallow water leading to the ocean. Let the boat slide smoothly from the shore, then gently rock it out to sea; and when it passes through the storm...allow it to return in one piece. To say nothing of the scratches in its armor.

Poisyn

To,

To My Girls,

You are beautiful.

To My Sons,

You are strong.

To My Friends,

I'm Sorry. I thank you.

To My Family,

It's not your fault.

To My Hosts,

Be Brave, be strong. Because you can do anything.

To The New Parents,

Be Patient.

To The Children,

Learn whole-heartedly. You only have this once.

To The Soldiers,

Remember mercy.


Kai.

Siren Song

We were so young...when we first met. It was as though the universe aligned and everything was so right. I can see that day, way back then. I was standing alone on the balcony, staring into the coming dawn, when my Romeo came through the trees and onto out pathway. Slowly, sauntered up the steps and asked me with his charming accent if my daddy was home. He was dressed so well. Dressed so formally in a full tux, shiny leather loafers and a crisp hat. The earrings in his ears were pure diamond, like the cuff links at his wrists. He was gorgeous, and he stole my young heart right out of my chest. I was dressed in a long white casual gown, and considering the warm weather I hadn't bothered with a jacket. My hair was loose and at the time, had been rather long. I couldn't talk, couldn't move. Luckily my little brother, Phury, came from the foyer and called for me. My future hellren offered me his arm and walked with us into the house.

We were mated two years later. Three years after, our daughter, Sohra, was born. Two after that, our son, Thrhill was born. We were a happy family, the young were content to play in daddy's vast gardens and we were safe. One day, my hellren was called away on business and I didn't hear from him for days. Days that quickly turned into weeks and months. Soon a year had passed with no word. I had given up hope of seeing my beloved again. The days were bleeding into summer and our son was growing curious about his father's whereabouts. Our daughter was content with his missings, a detachment that I to this day, cannot understand. We received a letter, on the 17th of April. Oddly, it was addressed to Thrhill. Being far to young to receive letters, I read it, as was my right. The letter was horrid. It detailed things far to complex for a child. Far to cruel and grotesque, even now I shudder at its contents. I hid it away, I did not tell my young what the letter contained. I told them we had terrible news.

Their father had died in combat. He had passed honorably, and surrounded by his brothers-in-arms. I arranged his funeral and we mourned. Oh, if only I could put into words the grief I felt, the sorrow that haunted me for placing that look on the faces of my young... It pained me so, and even now it keeps me awake. Decades later, when my darling son had gone off to aid in the wars and my beautiful daughter was mated and having her own young. My hellren returned to me.

As I knew he would. However, as I also expected, he returned to me a different male. All of the male I had known was gone from this being that stood before me. Hands and face covered and dripping in the blood of another female, his once caring and gentle eyes turned bloodthirsty and feral by the bloodlust. I led him astray from the house, unwilling to allow this to take place in my fathers home, where my family may walk in upon it when they awoke for the evening. I ran, barefoot into the garden. Through the flowers and grasses I had watched my young play in so long ago. Across a field I had lain in as a girl, and farther still to the river and the waterfall on the very edge of our land. He followed, of course. Chased me down, snatching and ripping at my clothes along the way. Ripping at my hair and my skin, wanting to make me fall. As I stood on the lip of the waterfall, bathing in its mists, I opened my arms to him. Bared my throat and welcomed him.

Mine hellren, home at last.

The force of his attack drove us both off the edge. And I welcomed the end. It has been so long since that dive. And I've grown wiser in my countless years, as I watched my young grow and prosper. I've learned my choice was a good one. Ill-timed perhaps. But well thought out. I suppose...my point for tell you all this is lost...I'm hoping my son and my daughter will reach out to me. Perhaps even my brothers...

Chosen,
Envy

Quote?

"It was always better with strangers."

"I asked, sadly she said no."

"He was The One. I wasn't."

"Plenty of liquor-we'll make it."

"Bastard turned out to be straight."

"Actually, I took my own virginity."

"My partner in sin found God."

"Happy enough...was her tentative reply."

"She knows what my Kryptonite is."

"Lust walked in. Love walked out."

"In his smile I saw forever."

"Tomorrow, maybe, I'll sell the ring."

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas everyone. I hope this holiday brings happiness to you. As I hope the new year brings blessings as well. I don't think I have anything important to say...hmm. Oh how about this?

Once upon a time, there was a little boy dressed in rags. He lived in a little house with a patched roof on the outskirts of town. The window was broken, and the cold drifted in, making him shiver underneath his hole ridden blankets. Everyday the little boy went outside and did odd jobs around town to buy one loaf of bread for himself. He did this for a long time, and no one ever helped him. They figured he was being supported by someone.
But this little boy was all alone, with no one to care for him. No one to show him love, or kindness. This little boy grew to be a hardened teenager, and he began to steal and create mischief to gain his food. Soon he was rich with his thievery. He was good at it too, never got caught. He was satisfied. On the day he turned 18 he went out, like any other day, to steal his food. When he came across a young lady. Dressed in a fine gown, and petticoats, carrying a heavy purse, her feet in lovely slippers, this young lady smiled at him and continued on her way.
She had acknowledged him!
He instantly fell in love with the girl and followed her into the town. She stopped at many houses, and her purse became lighter and lighter. Finally, she she stopped at a fancy looking building.
'This must be her job, or her house.' the boy thought, 'far too fancy for me.' So he waited outside, peeking through the windows. The young lady entered the building and gave away her purse and her slippers. Removed her coats, and gown, left standing only in her underskirt and thin top. She shivered in the cold as she waited in the room alone. Eventually an old woman came into the room and gave her a plain dress and she slipped into it. Without her corset, or coats or slippers. Not even her purse, she left the house, smiling. The boy continued to follow her, all the while wondering what she did with her things.
As time wore on and she wound farther and farther out of the town he ran up to her.
"What on earth did you do with you clothes?"
She smiled again, showing straight white teeth. "Why, I gave them away of course. I give away all of my clothes once a month, and get a simple gown in return."
He gaped, utterly confused, "But why? What do you get out of it? Who gets your clothes?"
She took his hand and continued to walk. Explaining to him that all of her clothes and money go to people in need. Though she gets nothing in return except for a gown to wear home, she doesn't mind. She enjoys giving away her things to those who need it.
She asked him if he needed anything.
the boy stopped and stared at her as though she had sprouted the wings of an angel. Here was this beautiful young woman, giving away all of her precious things and she was offering to help him? A grubby thief dressed in rags? Absurd!
"Would you like to stay with me for the night? Have a bath and a warm meal? Some clothing?"
Still he gaped, stared, opened his mouth and shut it again. Baffled. Eventually he nodded, and spent the night in her company.
In the weeks that passed, the boy spent everyday with her. Becoming more like a gentleman and giving instead of taking. She alighted his world, was his saving grace. He loved nothing and no one more than Her.
Years went by and they wed, vowing to each other to bring joy to the world.
And they did. They gave and gave and gave. Sharing their bounty with the world until they grew old and passed on the giving to their children. And the world became a brighter place. Because someone reached out and gave their aid to another.
Moral: Tis the season.

^_^ Anyway. That was dumb. But I couldn't end it. Sorry. Well...uhm...Have a nice holiday!

Merry Christmas,
Cara

Redirecting....

Amidst all the promises, amidst all the lies.
These secret callings overcome me.
Like a spider does a fly.
Without a rhyme or reason
To acknowledge what we do
There seems to be an ending to the fallacy called truth
Now were running from the danger
To save our own three lives.
Never resting, only begging
That we'll see another dawn.
As the wind picks up speed,
And our momentum dies.
We look around the battlefield
Look how many stolen lives.
For every crimson river
A thousand diamond tears
With each and every cry of pain
The heavens seem to darken.
Hold me close now,
Deliver the final blow.
I want your face to be the last thing I see
The first thing I remember.
Don't cry for me, though I know you will.
We're safe on the other side.
If I wake from this dream
Hold me close.
Never let me go.
I want to be allowed to scream when
The nightmare is over.
But for now I'll settle trembling
In the darkest part of hell.
Listen there are only two of us here.
But...
Three heartbeats echo...
Hear?

Anon

1 Love

"Everyday I hope that I can love you more than I already do."

"Damn! Your sexy!"

"Sometimes, when we're alone, I want to cry. Just because I know that I can give you my whole being and you will cherish me, as I will cherish you."

"Age ain't nothin' but a number, and a complicated math problem..."

"Remember when we first met? I knew I loved you right then."

"Trust me babygirl, I love you more than anything."

"When the sun goes down, and the night is darkest. The sounds of the night world awakening from their cracks and crevices. I can hold you a little tighter, a little closer, and know that nothing can get us. Because you have me, and I have you."

"Nothing can come between us because we're like a titanium band!"

"Fuck them! My heart belongs to you!"

"My image of paradise it standing in an infinite place of beauty, with you at its heart."

"Not even ninja's could take me from you."



I don't care what happens, or how long it takes. But I'll always be here for you. No matter what.

I love you.